Knock Knock
Random Housewife: Who’s there?
Agent Tightwad: This is the FBI. I’m Agent Tightwad and my partner Agent Klutz. We’re here to ask some questions concerning your brother who’s been missing since Friday after being the main suspect in a murder. Hopefully you’ll give us some information so we could nail the bastard’s ass. We hate him.
Random Housewife: Please come in.
They enter the house and immediately start to stare disapprovingly at everything.
Agent Tightwad: When was the last time you spoke with your brother?
Random Housewife: I haven’t spoken to him in five years. Would you like to sit?
Agent Tightwad: No thank you.
Random Housewife: Would you like some juice?
Agent Tightwad: No
Random Housewife: Would you like some Turkish coffee from a bean that was harvested strictly for royalty in the Ottoman Empire.
Agent Tightwad: No
Random Housewife: Can I offer you some beef cutlets with garlic sauce and lima beans that I slaved for the past two hours cooking?
Agent Tightwad: No. Ma’am we really are quite busy and would just like to ask you a few questions.
Random Housewife: I’m sorry. Go ahead.
Agent Tightwad: Can we ask leading questions that imply that you came from a terrible upbringing and your brother was your sole support growing up? Can we assume that your husband left you for another woman?
Random Housewife: Yes. Of course.
Agent Tightwad: Can we assume that you will lie about everything and you’re trying to protect your brother. That he’s been here last night and is hiding in your barn in the back. Can we kick down that barn door and scope the area while pointing guns?
Random Housewife: Yes. Of course.
Agent Tightwad: When we spot him, can we fire shots wildly behind him even though we are aware that there are neighbors around and your children are within range of being shot.
Random Housewife: By all means.
Agent Tightwad: Right……so let’s talk. Mrs. Faithful…..Is it alright if I call you Judy?
Random Housewife: No.
Update 19.06.21: Thank you for my first 1K upvotes on Quora